My Paternal Grandfather

Before I embark on writing about the next phase of my life, I feel that I am at an appropriate juncture where I should write about all those who have touched my life in one way or another. There were those who came into my life fleetingly and there were those who had made great impacts on the outcome of what I am today. I guess the most appropriate approach would be for me to start right at the top of the family tree, well as far up the family tree as I can possibly go.

My earliest memory of my paternal grand parents was when I was in China at the tender age of two. From very vague memory I can still picture our home in Suatow in southern China. It was a big house with a lake in front of the main entrance. The edge of the lake was lined with tall trees. I remember seeing fishermen in their boats catching fish in the lake. By the side of the house there was a lane leading into market and the town. We had courtyards in the house and there was a well from which fresh water was drawn for all household needs.

I come from a long lineage of an educated family in that part of the country. In those days only the educated few could hold official positions in the government. From stories told to me by my father, his grandfather, my great grandfather was a high official in the Chinese provincial government. My grandfather and subsequently my father had the privilege of attending school which few people could afford or allowed in those days. From what I have gathered, my great grandfather was an important person greatly respected. He was a person of wealth owning land and other properties. I was told that our family had people working for us in the rice fields. My grandfather became a teacher, which in those days was an extremely honorable and respected profession.

Life for the family must have been good. My grandmother was a lady of prestige and greatly respected. She had her feet bound as only ladies of great importance would do. We had many servants working in the house and grandmother would be the matriarch of the household.

As the first grandson of the family and the eldest of the next generation, I was indulged and pampered. My grandfather showered all his love on me and gave me the best in everything. Each morning grandfather would parade me proudly along the lane to our local market to buy fish for lunch. Those must have been proud and happy days for him. He would play with me and take me for walks in the courtyards within the house or along the lanes leading into town.

When I left China for Segamat my grandfather came with us. His love for me must have been so strong that he left his beloved country to travel with me to a foreign land. During our days in Segamat, the bond between us grew stronger and I grew to love my grandfather fondly. We continued to have our morning walks to the wet market in Segamat for our fish for lunch. I was told by many that we were famous for our daily market visits.

My grandmother remained in China with my younger brother. This younger brother was her favorite grandson and she insisted he stayed behind to keep her company. I cannot remember much about my paternal grandmother during that period of my life. She would come into my life again when she joined us in Segamat many years later. My days with my grandfather were happy ones. I remember him as a very quiet and soft spoken person. He was gentle and kind and I was happy to be with him.

A few years with me in Segamat and then it was time for grandfather to return to China. I guess I must have missed him when he left, but I cannot remember my sadness. I was told he was not feeling well and had wanted to return to his place of birth. I guess he knew that his days were coming to an end and because he was very Chinese and very traditional, I was told he had wanted to end his days in his country of birth. It must have been a very heart wrenching decision for my grandfather to leave me then, and knowing that he would never see me again.

I must have been 5 or 6 when one night I was told by my mother that my grandfather has passed away peacefully in China. I guess he had his wish to be buried in the place where he was born. I remember him as a great person who loved me and with whom I spent many happy days.